This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
