Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
