the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
