God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
