It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
