So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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