so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
