I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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