I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am available for nakedness
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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