i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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