I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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