how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
