I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
