Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
