anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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