I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
