Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
