Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Less talking, more tequila
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
