Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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