please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just found a bag of teeth...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Oh god it's open bar.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
