hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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