HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
