I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
