im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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