i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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