your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
