wat bout pragnant strippers??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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