my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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