Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
