i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
