we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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