my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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