Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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