Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
