My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
