i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We got so high we made milksteak
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
