Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
