well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
