when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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