it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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