I cockslap morals
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
