yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
