3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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