Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have aggressive nipples.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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