suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
