we made out on top of his cat.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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