i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
