I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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