I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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