I just pynch a tree in the face
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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