The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
