The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
